Mad Madam Moxie

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A Curmudgeon's Chronicle of Everything Wrong With the World

aging

Return

⚸ The Collected Complaints ⚸

A Birthday Surprise

Fifth of May MMXXVI

Today is my 39th birthday. This isn't weird, people turn 39 all the time. Cakes are baked, balloons are blown up, the Happy Birthday song is sung off-key around a restaurant table while the birthday person does that thing with...

◆ Rage Level: Warming

The Madam

I am the magnificent, marvellous Mad Madam Moxie – a perpetually perturbed and morose Millennial who's bitterly baffled by the state of basically everything, working through worldly woe with a wee bit of whimsy.

The Spellbook

The Cauldron's Rage

Warming
A low flame flickers beneath still water. Something has been lit.
Simmering
Tiny bubbles creep along the bottom. Patient, but building.
Steaming
The surface shivers. Wisps rise. Get too close and you'll feel it.
Boiling
Roiling, churning, loud. Whatever is inside has no intention of calming down.
Scorching
Spitting over the sides. The metal glows. The flame is enormous.
Overflowing
It can't hold anymore. Hot liquid pours out in waves, sizzling as it hits the fire below.
BOOM!
The cauldron is gone. Only scorched earth and ringing silence remain.